I heard someone say recently, "Honor the distances you've traveled to meet yourself." And it made me begin to think. Over the last year, I've had so many times where I've been disappointed in myself. I've not been happy with where my body is. I've not felt organized or successful. And that's natural right? Where we're not really feeling where we are because we're not exactly where we want to be. I've lived in that space for a while now. That space where I question my discipline because my body doesn't look like it did a year ago. Or my head feels a little messy because I'm processing some changes. Or God forbid, I have to deal with some changes that somehow become a part of you as a woman in her mid-forties.
Recognizing that I'm not at my end goal and that I still have work to do is part of the process. There's a tension there that pulls me toward my goal. But in that work we sometimes forget to celebrate where we've come from. We forget to honor the distances we've traveled. When I start to think about honoring the distances I first go back to three years ago when I started my true weight loss journey. August 4th is what I lovingly call my "born on date" because that's when the majority of the work started, but my road is waaaay longer than the last three years. When I really think of all of the things I've overcome it becomes overwhelming. A lot of things we go through aren't pretty and we tend to not want to revisit it, but today I'm honoring them. Because who I am today is an incredibly strong woman who is proud. I've come through sexual assault, crippling anxiety and depression, and failed relationships that I thought were my fault. I've made it through a risky pregnancy and an infant with medical issues. I've overcome obesity and poor health. I've come through the loss of friends who were taken to early and of a parent to cancer. I've broken a legacy of poor healthy habits. There are things that I've overcome. And I overcame them to build the life that I have today where I've been successful in my education and career. I've conquered the demons in my head and have built a healthy mindset around my life and whatever comes my way. I've pushed past the fear of being "known" and have found freedom in transparency. I've lost 60 lbs and have kept most of it off (thank you hormones... but I'll overcome you too). I've run what feels like a gazillion 5ks, a few 10ks, and a half marathon.
When I look at all of the things that I've been able to push past it gives me that motivation to keep moving forward. Because if I can overcome these, imagine what else I can tackle. And along the way, who can I inspire to do the same. That's the kicker right... paying it forward? That's really what I should be doing! Because I remember those days that I didn't feel like I was worth it because somehow my circumstances were my fault. I remember the days when I felt less than. Well those days are no more. So girlfriend!! (or boyfriend!) Go look at what you've made it through and honor that road. You might be surprised that the person that's cheering the loudest for you is the person you used to be.
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